Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

This is not just my story

Today something wonderful happened. My play told me it was ready to be written.

I know that sounds ridiculous, but more and more lately I'm finding that it's true. I'll come up with an idea for a story, a play or whatever, usually just a skeleton concept, character fragments and some hint at what actually happens, but then it doesn't go any further. So I just forget about it, presuming I'll come back to it someday. Then, months, sometimes years later, out of the blue it'll come and smack me in the back of the head.

"Forget what you wrote down before," it tells me, "this is how the story is supposed to go!"

And it's usually right. 

Very often, the story is a stripped back and streamlined version of the original. I had a bad habit back in the day of trying to add too much drama to my stories, adding in storylines and subplots that just didn't need to be there, and that usually I didn't know enough about.

The best known rule of writing is:


WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW

And what do I know? What I have experienced. 

My most recent writing projects, primarily plays, have been stemming from my own life events, and I'll admit that scares the hell out of me. I'm putting myself out there for the world to see and judge, but it must be happening for a reason.

As I move into old age (and yes, 30 is old age!) I need to deal with my baggage, and writing is apparently my catharsis.

The play that got written today, has been on my mind for a good 8 months or so, ever since my friend Emma decreed she was going to hold a short play festival about mental health. I had an idea almost straight away.

Originally, it was going to be a monologue, someone else's story, and that's certainly still a road I could go down. But as my brain ticked over on the idea I knew that I simply didn't know enough to make that play idea work. Sure I could have researched it to death, but why do that when there are other sources to draw on it. I knew I had to write my side of this particular story.

Some years back I was in a relationship that proved somewhat damaging, those of you in the know will no doubt be pointing out there are several that could be classified thus. But this one had some particular trauma points that have stayed with me in a fundamental way. It seemed only appropriate that writing a show for a mental health showcase could be my own therapy.

The story resisted for a long while. I knew pretty much what I wanted to put in it but every time I sat down to write, nothing came. So I just left it alone. On Saturday, for no reason what-so-ever, it handed me the opening sequence. The next day it threw me a few more lines, the next day the same, and I knew it was almost ready.

I don't know why but last night, the night this play is based on came back to me quite vividly. I was desperately trying to get to sleep, knowing I had only a four-and-a-half hour window before I was back up for work again, but my mind kept on replaying snatches of conversation, small actions, facial expressions, and for the first time in years I allowed myself to cry for the events of that night. Eventually I was lulled into a dreamless and heavy sleep, rudely awakened before 6am to return to work. 

I thought nothing of those events throughout my first job this morning, but my brain must have been tick tick ticking on it nonetheless. By the time I arrived at my second job I knew something was ready to move, and fortunately the job was a slow one, couriering exhibitor cargo from the entrance of the conference building to their stands, a mindless job, leaving my head free to tick away.



The above small notebook has become my constant companion of late, it fits in the pocket of my work trousers, so now whenever I have a thought about any stories I can take note instead of presuming I'll remember it later. Heaven forbid anyone ever gets hold of this thing, I'll be sectioned immediately the content is so dark. And so between exhibitor arrivals I started jotting down lines. This went on for a couple of hours until the arrivals dwindled down to practically nothing and I just sat on the floor of the security entrance and just let it flow, my pencil barely stopping. I had been concerned that when the story was finally ready to hit paper I would find it distressing, but scribbling away I found myself at peace. A calmness settled over me that allowed me to just keep going. 

I finished writing an hour before the end of my shift, and I was eager to get home to type it up, my first edit pass, and get it off to my favourite first reader. But typing it up proved to be more difficult. I was more agitated, I was emotional and yes I shed a few tears. I have no doubt that my current state of ongoing sleep deprivation had a substantial hand in this process, perhaps helping me let my guard down enough for the story to flow freely, but the job is done, and the story is no longer in my hands.

The current PDF is only 8 pages long. Onstage perhaps it will run about 15-20 minutes, I'm not sure. Now that it's written I realise how heavy the subject matter actually is and now I'm fearful it will be deemed unsuitable. Only time will tell. My only hope is that if it does make it to the stage, at The Hope Theatre in March 2016, is that all who see it will be gentle in their judgement.

And now, the sweet oblivion of sleep beckons, and I am want to yield.
Good night.




Wednesday, 3 September 2014

FGC#14 The Knot

As time passes the knot in my stomach loosens, the weight in my chest gets lighter, and the dark cloud that's been over my head for months is starting to disperse.
Tonight has done me good. The comfort of old friends, a change of scenery, being surrounded by inane chatter and cheesy music. I've even managed to laugh.
I squirm and wriggle in the corner of the seat, trying to escape Alison's insistent fingers as they dance across my ribs and belly. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of laughing out loud but squeaks keep escaping my throat.
"All right! All right you're right! She's hotter in Fifth Element than in Resident Evil!"
She relents and sits up, straightening her top. My arm snakes around her shoulders and Alison leans into me, one hand on my knee, the other clutching her plastic pint glass. I give her a squeeze, enjoying the solid weight of her body against mine. We're comfortable friends. Goodness knows I wanted more once, but when I saw how good she and Monica were together I forgot all about it.
"One of these days she's going to get bored of me and we all know who she'll end up with."? Monica winks at me over her drink and I feel the corners of my mouth pull up as everyone else at the table laughs. It's been a while since smiling came easily.

A flash of auburn catches my eye and my heart skips a beat as I look up. This has happened three or four times tonight already. Only this time it's her. Kira. She's smiling. I've tried so hard to forget how beautiful she looks when she smiles. Now that smile isn't meant for me. It's for the short haired girl pulling her to another table.
I shrink into my seat, I want to be invisible. But when Kira kisses the short haired Michaela the knot in my stomach tightens savagely, the weight in my chest threatens to bear me through the floor as the black cloud over my head encroaches on my vision.
Pressure on my knee draws the rest of the world back into focus.
"Are you ok?", a soft voice asks by my ear. Alison is the only one in the group to have met Kira.
"I can't be here right now," I inform her and stand up, muttering my apologies to the others, knowing Alison will explain everything. I hold my breath as I walk towards the exit, taking measured steps, trying not to run, keeping half an eye on Kira. Ronnie, the bouncer, steps into my path before I can make my escape.
"Leaving so soon Rach mate?"?
"Saving you some unnecessary drama babe."? Kissing her on the cheek, I finally reach the door.
Gasping down the cool air I pound away down the street. I thought I'd cried all the tears I had, but the pressure is there behind my eyes and my throat tightens. With my hands buried deep into my pockets, fingernails digging into sweaty palms, teeth clenched, I refuse to cry in a public place.
"Rachel, wait."
That voice freezes me to the spot, my heart stops, my blood chills. Her footsteps are getting closer. I want to flee, to run and to keep on running until I collapse but my body won't obey.
Her hand on my arm is like an electric shock and I jump away as though burned. My heart is thumping so hard I think it's going to break out of my chest.
"Sorry. Are you all right?"
I fix my eyes on a piece of gum on the pavement. I don't dare to look at her. Just a glimpse of those eyes was always enough to make me cave. That's how she got me to go out with her in the first place.
"Say something Rachel, please."?
"What do you want me to say?" My voice is harder than I expected, colder than I wanted. But it's always up to me.
"I don't know. Anything. I miss you."?
A laugh bubbles up my throat and I shake my head. "Don't say that."?
"But it's true."?
"Maybe, but I don't need to hear it right now."? My whole body is beginning to shake, so I hug myself. "Things like that get my hopes up, even though you've made your choice and I need to forget you."
"Why? I thought we could still be friends?"?
"Because you still make me feel too much."? The words erupt out of my mouth before I have time to stop them. Taking a deep breath I continue, quieter, trying to keep my voice steady and reasonable. "And I won't let you or anyone else have that kind of hold over me again."? Turning, I stride off down the road.
"I might believe that if you'd stayed with your friends instead of running off in a sulk."?
I stop but refuse to turn around, refuse to rise to her taunting. "And ruin their night as well? Not to mention make yours awkward?"?
"As if you care how my night goes."
"Regardless what you think I do want you to be happy Kira."? Sometimes I wonder why I do, when she's taken so much from me and given me nothing in return but a broken heart. "Only problem is I still want you to be happy with me, but that's not going to happen."? The knot is twisting tighter, trying to choke me. "I can't be witness to Michaela making you happy when I couldn't manage it."
"So what happens now?"? Her voice is small and tight. I turn to look at her at last. Those gorgeous eyes are swimming in tears and her brow is knitted.
"We go our separate ways."?
The tears spill over and one hand moves shaking to her mouth. She didn't even look this stricken when she told me she was leaving me for someone else.
"But what about me? I still care about you a lot. I want you in my life."?
"Let me go Kira." Please let me go, let me think of myself for once instead of letting it all be about what she wants. "It's not enough for me. Alison told me something earlier."? A delivery truck rumbles passed and I welcome the moment to pull myself back together. "She said, at some point you have to realise some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life."?
Her face crumples and despite myself I pull her into my arms. A sense of relief floods through me as our bodies fit together as perfectly as before, her fingers clutching my shoulders and her face pressed against my neck. Slowly, I release my breath.
"So is this it? For good?"?
"I honestly don't know. Maybe."
She pulls away from me and wipes her face.
"Besides, you've got Michaela to distract you. You won't even notice I'm gone."?
She holds my face and draws my mouth to hers. The familiar taste of her makes my chest swell with the old warmth and the world twists beneath my feet. Her lips on mine are demanding, urgent, needy. I gently push her back.
"I won't forget you,"? she whispers.
"Go and live your life."? I turn and walk away.
The knot in my stomach is still there as the distance between us grows, but it's not as tight, the weight in my chest not as heavy, the cloud over my head not as black.
**********************************
This short story is an entry into the Form and Genre Challenge #14: 1st Person POV. Check out the other entries and vote for your favourite here.
Final word count: 1252

FGC#9: Up Here

150 feet up. 150 feet closer to the heavens.

Up here the raised, coarse voices that grate and frustrate fade away, blown past by the wind, beaten down by the crash of the waves against the hull, fading into the squawk and natter of the gulls. Land is near.

Up here the roiling fire of anger in my belly is quelled, replaced by the nausea. So high up the roll of the ship, my ship, is greater. It ripples through my gut and presses at the back of my skull. That's what peppermint leaves are for. Crunch a handful, and mouth cools with the fresh and the tang, the cool chases itself down my throat and is welcomed by my tossing stomach. It soothes and settles, and peace can now seep through the rest of me.

Up here I'm closer to my ship. Pressed against the most slender end of the tallest mast I feel her pulse. It's not regular but it is. The wind gathered in her sails forces her forward, a wave hits her from one side and she groans, from another and she moans. I can hear her. I can feel her. She raised me, this hulk of wood, cork and canvas. She's the mother I never knew, and I know her better than anyone. I feel her unbalance. They've loaded her wrong. She lists to port but no-one else would know. Only I feel her pulling to right herself. It's such a small tug but it's there. No-one knows her like I do.

Up here is escape. She rocks me, soothes me, she listens to me curse the men below, and then gives me freedom. A length of rope connects us as I stand feet wide on the yard arm and lean as far forward as she'll allow me. Keep eye's forward and up and I can't see the rest of her; there's only water and sky and I'm flying. Breath deep enough and the salt cold air stings the back of my nose. Even up here the spray can get me, and the tang on my lips is deliciously sharp. Squint my eye's against the wind or tears blur my vision, my hair tugging at my head in its own freedom, sweeping behind me, whipping about my face. Let it fill me, let it hold me, let it take me away.

Up here I'm closer to heaven.
********************************************
This vignette was written in response to the Form and Genre Challenge 2012 #9: The Vignette Challenge.
Final word count: 404
To see the other submissions and vote for your favourite in the Reader's Poll go to the Write Anything website here.


FGC#8 The Best Match

Lettys nudged the child through the bakehouse door and watched her run between the flour-dusted bodies towards the man wearing green hose and yellow stockings. She pressed herself back against the outside of the building, clutching her basket of foodstuffs to her navy skirts with one hand and straightening her coif with the other, smiling when she heard the man growl and the girl squeal.
"Good morning Meg," his cheery voice carried through the din of the bakers and the boys. "Now how did you come to be here all by yourself?" Meg giggled. "I think your aunt is hiding somewhere." His voice was getting closer, and her smile was growing bigger. "Where could she be?" He inched around the door frame, a heart-warming grin on his face and the child in his arms. "Found you."
Her smile matched his as his cheeky brown eyes sparkled in the late morning sun. The beginnings of a beard on his strong chin suited him. He smelt of wood smoke and yeast. She wanted to reach out and hold him but such behaviour would be improper. "Good morrow Will."
He dusted his hands on his apron. "And to you Mistress Crane." He lifted her hand to his lips but she snatched it away, glaring.
"Call me that again and I shan't recommend you to my brother." She winked as she took the girl child from him, brushing a spot of soot from the coif on his head.
"But a man of my low birth cannot possibly call a woman of class by her christian name."
"Ha!"
The laugh made Lettys turn to the door of the dairy in the shade opposite the bakehouse, where a young woman stood watching them.
"My brother worrying about manners?" The smiling woman rubbed butter off her hands with a rag and dropped it into a bucket by the door. Her kirtle was the same colour as Will's hose, the front tucked into her belt displaying her woad blue petticoat beneath her apron. "And since when has Lettys Crane ever purported to be a woman of class? She is as scummy as the rest of us."
Lettys embraced the woman whose skin held the smell of sour milk from her work, and kissed her on the cheek. "As delightful as ever Annott. I shan't keep either of you, we just wanted to say good day. How goes the preparation for the banquet?"
"Well enough." Will glanced over her outfit, she felt colour rising in her cheeks and his grin became a smirk. "Is the banquet the reason for the new gown and skirt?"
Lettys rolled her eyes and tugged at the navy wool at her throat. "It was my mother's. Thomas made me wear it. We have to look presentable he said, but it is far too warm!"
A group of small boys ran by, waving sticks and shouting for the glory of England and Good Queen Bess. Annott grabbed the tallest one by the collar, and Lettys laughed at his wail of indignation.
"This one is barely presentable though." Annott wrapped her arms around the wriggling boy and tugged on the hem of his skirt. "Your kirtle is far too short young fellow." She tickled him and the boy shrieked, pulling free and hiding behind his aunt, a gap toothed grin on his freckled face.
"There is little point lengthening it now, he will be breeched and wearing hose in a fortnight." Her nephew pressed his face into the front of her gown, wrapping his arms around her and she squeezed him tight in return.
"Not long left in skirts then Master Nedkin?" Will nudged the boy with his foot. "Come hither with me, I have something for you." The pair of them disappeared into the bakehouse.
Lettys joined Annott in the warmth of the wall, even though she was warm enough already. Meg teased a lock of dark curls from under her aunt's coif, twisting it around her fingers and laying her head on her shoulder to doze.
"How fares your new husband?" Lettys grinned at her friend.
"Peter is quite well." Annott returned the grin with a wink. "The master has asked him to take on the duties of under-steward while Lord Robert is visiting."
"That is wonderful Annott. Mayhap Sir Walter will allow him to keep the position afterwards?"
Nedkin came running out of the bakehouse with Will. "Look Aunt Lettys!" In the boys hands were 3 balls of white bread.
"Will, you really should not indulge him with manchettes."
"We can spare three, heaven knows we have made plenty this morn." He grinned and shucked the boys brown felt cap.
The sound of hurried feet on the gravel path drew Lettys attention. "There you are little sister!" The bailiff of the master's farm trotted into sight, red in the face and breathing heavily, his black doublet hanging open.
"Thomas, what is it?" Her stomach began to flutter. Her brother should have been in town buying pigs this day, not searching the manor for her.
"We must make haste, the housekeeper is waiting for you."

"With our father dead it is up to me to find you a good husband!" Thomas stated again from his seat by the door, facing the wall.
Lettys was concealed behind a screen that stood as high as her shoulder, trying to straighten her under-skirt while the housemaid tugged at the laces on the side of her bodice. It was going to be an uncomfortable day. The oliphant grey kirtle with black sleeves had belonged to Thomas's late-wife when she had been a housemaid, and the woman had been more slender than Lettys.
"But surely if, and I emphasise if, a gentleman should take a fancy to me, he will take me away from the village. Then who will look after Meg and Nedkin?"
Thomas shrugged. "I shall take a second wife. I have been a widower for far too long, it's not proper."
Lettys sighed. She had tried every argument she could think of to sway her brother, but he was true to his course. She had but one argument left. Her brows knitted together and she tried to take a deep, bracing breath.
"But what if I had promised another that I would recommend him to you for husband?"
Thomas stood and turned. His face was still but anger was starting to burn in his eyes.
"Someone has been courting you without my consent?"
"No Thomas. I have known him for many years, his sister and I are friends."
"His name?"
She took as deep a breath as the bodice would allow. "Will. The baker's son."
He simply stared at her a moment. "A baker's son," he muttered, beginning to pace.
"He is a good man brother. He will finish his apprenticeship with his father in four months time, he wanted to wait until then to ask you for my hand, he wanted to show you he had the means to keep me."
Thomas bought his fist down hard on a table and she flinched. "God's wounds girl!" Storming around the screen, he pushed the housemaid aside and grabbed Lettys by the shoulders. She tried to make herself small under his gaze. "You are the cousin of the master of this manor. I would have you marry above your station not below it."
"Thomas please, you are hurting me." She was shaking. Never had she seen him in such a temper.
"Lady Catherine has done us great favour this day. She has but one daughter to marry off and Lord Robert has five sons, thus she has offered to make introduction for you too. So you will serve at table this night, and behave as befits your station, do you understand me."
Unable to look him in the eyes, Lettys nodded. He let her go and strode out of the room.

Up and down the passageway stood pages and housemaids of all shapes and size. Lettys and the maid that had helped her dress slipped into the formidable line of grey and black liveried bodies, bleach white coifs and black caps. Her heart was still pounding in her chest from her brother's treatment and tears threatened to spill down her face. The murmurs of conversation in the line ceased at the appearance of the steward, the housekeeper and the four under-stewards, making their way up the passage, inspecting the large staff required for the nights festivities.
Peter, Annott's husband, spotted her stood against the wall and walked towards her, frowning. He was a kind-hearted fellow but she did not want to talk to him for fear her tears would begin to fall.
"Lettys? Are you well?" He softly took her hand and leaned close, his eyes soft.
"I am quite well Peter, I assure you. Please. I know you are busy." Peter squeezed her hand and she released a shaking breath as he walked on.

A moment later the line stiffened when Sir Walter Applegate, the master of the house, proceeded along the passageway to the main hall, accompanied by Lord Robert Pentfort. Following them was a selection of family members and other gentlemen. Lettys was astonished by the finery of the mens outfits. Most were subtle in their choice of garments, wearing the richest reds and blacks, with the most delicate of embroidery and jewelling. Others, however, reminded Lettys of peacocks, displaying their many bright colours and the latest fashions from across Europe. She forced herself not to laugh at the fellow with the hose so large he may as well have been wearing a skirt. The young man behind him caught her eye. The manner in which he held himself marked him as a gentleman. He smiled at her, then glanced at the fellow with the skirt hose and rolled his eyes. She smiled back at him as he walked passed on his way to the great hall. Her smile disappeared when her eyes fell on Thomas at the back of the party. He was dressed in his best black wool doublet and hose with crimson satin slashing. He looked quite fine with his dark beard and hair carefully combed, but when he nodded to her it sent a cold wave from her throat to her toes.

A flurry of activity ensued when the last of the party had entered the great hall. The musicians began to play in the gallery, pages were sent to the hall to serve wine, maids to the garderobe to collect trenchers for the gentle-folk to eat from. Lettys found herself in the kitchen helping to put the finishing details to a variety of succulent dishes. Annott brushed past her in the melee, pressed into kitchen service for the Lord's visit. They had not a moment to even exchange a greeting as a dish was thrust into Lettys's hands and she scurried back into the passageway, joining the queue of maids and pages, each carrying a platter of some delicacy or another.
In procession, they walked into the great hall. The steward announced each dish, it was placed upon one of the tables and the carrier was sent back to the kitchen for the next dish. Salats, cheeses, breads, tortes, pottage, fish, poultry and game were distributed until Lettys felt sure the table should collapse.
The last dish she carried forth was a decorative quail, and the only space left was in front of the young gentleman who had smiled at her. He smiled again as she walked towards him and put down the platter.
"Thank you."? He held her gaze. She did not want to be rude and turn away, but he held it so long she felt awkward. She was saved by the arrival of the prize dish. Peter and his fellow under-stewards carried a board between them, atop which sat three roasted peacocks, each posed and redressed in it's skin and feathers, their tails arranged to display their many beautiful colours.
She gratefully took the opportunity to steal back to the kitchens. The cooks and their assistants were still busy, this time finishing the sweet dishes. She tucked herself in beside a fireplace to catch her breath and saw Will walk in with a basket of manchettes from the bakehouse. He winked at her across the crowded room and she felt herself calm a little. Barely seconds later she was swept back to the great hall to collect empty platters.

It was late before the household and their guests had finished eating, but despite the immense amount of food they had consumed they were still full of energy and determined to dance. Lettys watched from the corner of the room as the pages cleared away the low board tables and Lord Robert stood, holding his hand out to Lady Catherine. She accepted the invitation and allowed him to escort her to the centre of the hall. Her gown was beautiful; deep red and cream, with the tiniest of pearls stitched along the lines of the bodice.
The musicians began to play a galliard, and one-by-one, more couples joined the floor. Lettys was content to watch. She knew the dances certainly, but had had little opportunity to practice of late. Besides, she felt drained. If it had not been for Thomas watching her like a hawk from the other side of the room she would have snuck off to the kitchen, or even home. Sedately, the dancers moved about the hall. After more wine she knew the dances would get more lively, rowdier. The dance ended, and the couples bowed to each other. Some remained on the floor as the next dance started, others found seats around the room.
Lady Catherine spotted Lettys hiding in the corner and walked over with her arms outstretched.
"Dear girl, why do you secret yourself away so?" She embraced Lettys.
"Forgive me my lady, but I am wearied from service." Lettys curtsied to the lady of the house. As a child she had run freely through these rooms, playing with Lady Catherine's daughter Isabel and her two sons, John and Stephen. But as she grew older she was made aware there was a proper way to behave around gentle-folk and now she always felt awkward and ungainly in the family's presence.
"Well my dear, you did a fine job. If you wished I would be more than happy to take you onto our household staff?"
"With the greatest of respect my lady, I must decline such a generous offer. Until my brother finds himself a second wife he needs someone to care for his house and childer."
"You are a good girl to care for your brother so." Lady Catherine grinned and embraced Lettys again. "However, I suspect you may find yourself a husband before your brother finds another wife."
Lettys's heart began to beat faster and her gut twisted.
Lady Catherine leaned in close and whispered, "Young master Myles fancies you my dear." She stood aside and nodded across the room to the young gentleman who had smiled at Lettys. He was watching them as he spoke with the man in the skirt hose. "He is a fine and gentle fellow, sweet in spirit, something of a poet I gather. If that I could marry my Isabel off to him instead of his braggart brother Francis I would, but needs must. Francis is the better match for her." She sighed. "Now you must understand that as the youngest son of Lord Robert he has no entitlement to the family fortune or estates, but he is well provisioned for. All of Lord Robert's sons are well known at court. It rather excites me to think that my Isabel, and mayhap yourself, could soon be in the company of good Queen Bess. So what do you think my dear? Shall I make introduction?" Lady Catherine veritably bounced with excitement at the notion.
Lettys felt the colour drain from her face and her hands begin to shake. She was going to be introduced to the young gentleman, Myles Pentfort, as a prospect for marriage. All she could do was nod. Lady Catherine clapped with delight and took Lettys's hand, guiding her around the dancing couples.
Myles excused himself from his conversational companion as they approached.
Lady Catherine nodded to the young man. "Sir, allow me to introduce Lettys Crane, a cousin of our family."
He bowed to the women and kissed Lettys's hand. "The pleasure is all mine Lady Catherine. I have been admiring your cousin from a distance all night."
Lettys felt rooted to the spot, unable to speak or move. With great effort she managed to bob a curtsey.
Lady Catherine chuckled. "You must forgive Lettys sir, serving at table this evening has taxed her so. Shall I leave you to get better acquainted?" She did not wait for an answer, Lady Catherine just glided off into the crowd around the hall. Lettys desperately wanted to run after her and hide behind her skirts. Instead, she turned a timorous smile to Myles Pentfort as the dance ended.
He grinned offering her his arm. "May I have the next dance, my lady?"
Her feet felt unbelievably heavy but she followed him onto the floor and they stood face to face, waiting for the next piece of music. To her dismay, it was a Volta, one of the more intimate of the court dances. He moved to stand beside her, placing his arm across her body and she did the same. The sensation of his hand on her waist made her breath catch and she fixed her gaze on the pearl hanging from his ear. The velvet of his deep blue doublet was pleasantly soft and warm beneath her palm.
"I am curious, why do you perform the duties of a housemaid this night if you are a cousin of the family?"
Lettys's tongue cleaved to the roof of her mouth. She tried to concentrate on the steps of the dance but stumbled as she tried to speak. "I am little more than a peasant my lord, service is a good station for one such as myself."
His eye's narrowed. "But you are a cousin of the Applegates?"
"My late father was Sir Walter's cousin, yes. He was the bailiff of his farm, my brother holds the position now."
He placed both his strong hands on her waist, and lifted her for the three quarter turn. "Hardly a peasant then." Myles cocked his head at her, still smiling.
"Maybe not a peasant, but a farmers daughter none-the-less, far below the station of one such as yourself my lord. I am better suited to care for animals and childer than run a household."
He laughed, the pleasant resonant sound ringing out above the chatter. "Allow me to be the judge of that will you?" He lifted her again.
"As you wish my lord."

When the music ended, Myles Pentfort bowed deeply to her, her heart sinking when he once again kissed her hand. She had not been rude to him as they danced, simply reserved, but evidently that and the discussion of her social standing had not been enough to deter his interest.
She stopped herself sighing with relief when she saw Peter making his way towards them through the crowd.
He bowed reverently to Myles. "Begging your pardon my lord, but Lettys's presence has been requested in the kitchen."
"Of course, I shall detain the fair creature no longer." Once more he kissed Lettys's hand. "I must go speak with my father. I hope we shall see one another again soon Mistress Crane."
Lettys curtsied to the floor, again unable to speak. When Myles turned away Peter gently took her arm and led her from the hall.

They hastened down the passage, Peter leading her to the stewards quarters off the kitchen, shutting the door firmly behind them. Annott was pacing about the room, chewing her fingernails. Will stood from the settle when they entered. Lettys gulped down the first easy breath she had taken in hours and felt a few tears escape her eyelids. She could stop acting in the proper manner, if only for a few moments. Will gathered her up in his arms and held her tight.
"Peter told us about Lord Robert's son. How do you fare?"
"I am well enough. I am just so tired."
Annott shoved her brother away and took Lettys's hands in her own, squeezing them tightly. "Does he favour you?" Her brown eyes, so like her brothers, searched Lettys's own green ones.
"I believe so. Yes." She watched Annott's face crease as tears welled up in her eyes. "In very truth, it was never my intention to garner the attention of a gentleman. I'm sorry. Thomas received the favour from Lady Catherine." Her heart broke as Annott turned away from her.
Will placed his arm about her trembling shoulders. "So what do we do now?"
Peter pulled the hat from his head and rubbed his eyes. "There is nothing we can do. If Myle's asks Thomas for Lettys's hand he will undoubtedly consent and they will be married by the end of the year."
"You cannot marry him Lettys, you cannot." Annott threw her arms about Lettys's neck and kissed her upon the lips. Lettys tasted the tears of the woman she loved as she greedily indulged the physical connection between them. They had been unable to do this since before Anott and Peter's wedding two months before. The need to maintain a proper appearance had been torture. She held the woman tightly, Annott burying her face in her neck, sobbing.
Lettys watched Peter wrap his arms around Will's middle, the bakers son leaning back into the embrace. "We should have known it was too good to last."
"If only we could all just disappear," Will sighed. The thought hovered tentatively in the air between the four of them.
Peter stood up straighter. "Why can we not? We could just disappear."
"You are talking nonsense husband." Annott raised her tear stained face from Lettys's shoulder.
"I swear I am not. We could leave. The four of us we could leave, tonight, start afresh somewhere else, mayhap London. Lettys and Will could marry as per our plan, no-one will pay any attention to two newly-wed couples. We could be together as we please." Peter's face was aglow with excitement at the prospect. Lettys felt a glimmer of hope starting to grow inside her.
"It is not an unreasonable plan." Will squeezed Peter's hand, a timorous smile beginning to tug at his lips.
However, one thought extinguished the hope in Lettys like a cold wind. "But what of my family?" Lettys stepped away from Annott. "I cannot abandon Nedkin and Meg. Thomas knows nothing of caring for childer."
Annott grasped at her. Lettys could feel her love's desperation and wanted nothing more than to give her what she wanted. "Lettys there are many in the village to help him. Or if you are so concerned we can take them with us, raise them as our own."
"As our own?" Thoughts were tumbling around Lettys's head like acrobats. She loved Annott, that she did not doubt. But was it enough to leave behind her life, her brother, to take his childer from him?
A knock at the door made her jump and broke them all from their dreaming. Peter and Will stepped away from each other and Annott dried her face with her apron.
Thomas opened the door. "What are you doing in here little sister? I have been looking for you everywhere." He held out his hand to her, grinning. "Come. Lord Robert wishes to speak with us."

*****************************************
This short story was written in response to the Form and Genre Challenge 2012 #8: The Historical Challenge and received and honourable mention in the Readers Poll.
Final word count: 3955
To see the other submissions go to the Write Anything website here.
As always, much love and thanks to my favourite beta reader Alex.
Disclaimer for Kentwellies: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real Kentwellies, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Me vs. Story - A bit of silliness

Evening folks,


This is just something a little bit daft that was inspired by a sleep deprived conversation with Milli at the end of Wednesday's 10K Day. Milli did a similar piece a little while back called Inner Kid and Igor Converse About Writing.


I hope this little piece of rubbish makes you smile, it's made me feel better today :-)


*********************************************

Story: *tap tap tap*
Me: Hello?
Story: Hi, umm, I was just wondering, could I get written sometime soon?
Me: Certainly. Do you have all your material together for me?
Story: Not really, no.
Me: Oh, well then I can’t write you right now I’m afraid. I can make notes of what you’ve got if you like?
Story: Well, see the thing is, I really really want to get written.
Me: I understand that, but when you first arrived I did explain that you’d have to get your material together before I could write you. You’re welcome to stay up there as long as necessary to do that, but you’ve got to do the work, I’m just the typist.
Story: But surely it’s my turn by now, I’ve been up there a while!
Me: You’ve been up there a week…
Story: But it’s getting really crowded.
Me: I’m well aware of that fact, believe me.
Story: But but…but how long do I have to wait then?
Me: As I said, that’s up to you. Pirate’s Daughter has been up there since 2004, it’s only in the last two years that we’ve started making progress together, and we’ve made a lot of progress in that time, but we’re not quite ready for the 1st draft yet and she’s happy with that.
Story: I have to wait two years???
Me: Of course not, you’re a short story, if you get your material together you can be written in a few hours.
Story: But I want to be written now!
Another Story: Umm…excuse me?
Me: Yes?
Another Story: Sorry to interrupt but I think I’m ready to be written.
Story: What??? I was here first!
Me: Actually she’s been here for nearly 3 weeks now. Have you got all your material together?
Another Story: Most of it, there’s two small gaps though…
Me: I’m sure we can work with that. Please make yourself comfortable.
Story: Wait wait wait! What about me?
Me: What about you?
Story: I need to be written!
Me: Get your material together and I’ll sort you out, I’ve told you that.
Story: BUT I WANT TO BE WRITTEN NOW!!!!
Pirate’s Daughter: Everything all right in here hon?
Me: Hi mate, sorry, can it wait a while?
Story: I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN…
Pirate’s Daughter: Sure thing, just had an outline element arrive earlier. Ummm…want some help with her?
Me: Feel free to let a couple of your characters loose on her if you want but I think I can handle it.
Pirate’s Daughter: Ok, but just yell if you want a hand.
Story: I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN…
Me: All right that’s enough!
Story: I WAnt…
Me: Thank you. Now then, you’ve got two choices. Either you go back upstairs and wait until you’ve gathered all your material, or you get out and go find another writer. Either way, you’d better stop pounding on the back of my skull! So what are you going to do?
Story: Umm…

Monday, 2 January 2012

2012 - Bring It On!

London's New Year fireworks

HAPPY 2012!

Firstly, what do you think of my new banner? My mate Lee McGeorge made it for me, and though at first I couldn’t believe he’d used that terrible photo it’s really grown on me. Now I just need to persuade him that I need series banners as well. :-)

Secondly, a lot of people have stated that 2011 wasn’t exactly the best year. I have to agree. I’m going to refrain from whining but 2011 wasn’t the best year for me, it certainly had it’s ups and downs. So I’m going to do my best to make…sorry I WILL make the most of 2012!

I’m coming to realise more and more that my attitude needs to change. Actually I’ve been aware of this for some time and whether it was a case of being unwilling or unable to make that change I’m not entirely sure, but the change is going to happen, and it’s going to happen now!

I’ve spent the last few days thinking carefully about what I want and need to achieve this year, and here are the main ones.

READING

Just some of the titles I plan to read this year!
Reading is so important for a writer-in-training, and though I love to read I know I can do more. I’ve noticed myself becoming more critical of my reading material. 
For example, the book I’m currently reading, and determined to finish reading today, really could have done with another proof-reading pass! Part of me is itching to take a red pen to all the mistakes that have jarred me out of the flow and send it back to the publishers.
In this category there are two very simple goals:

- Read at least 2 books per month. This shouldn’t be difficult at all. Since I’ve doing a lot of travelling for work I typically have one book going on the Kindle, and a paperback by my bed. I may also start doing some book reviews on here.
- Read more widely. Try new genres and read books that I wouldn’t normally even pick up.

I also need to limit my fanfiction intake! Once you stumble upon an archive of good stories it’s very hard to get out of it!


WORK

Signed posters from the best shows I've worked on.
Right now work is a major concern for me. I’ve been fortunate that since May I have had almost continuous theatre work, even though it’s been stage management rather than sound but still for the most part it’s been a lot of fun. However, because it’s been all fringe theatre since August, my finances have suffered greatly. 
At my stage on the theatre technicians ladder it’s not unusual to get stuck with the problem of either taking a decent job and as a result being unable to take theatre work, or take theatre work and really struggle for money, but at least you’re working in theatre.
So in this category there are four goals:

- Work on a show that lasts for more than 6 weeks. Until May, any theatre work I had typically only lasted a week and then it was back to hunting for another job. Working for Drama Studio London from May until the end of July was hard work but sheer bliss. I had assured and well paid work. Since then my shows have lasted 3-5 weeks which has been pleasant enough, but I would love nothing more than a longer gig to look forward to.
- Get onto a West End show. Even if it’s just for work experience at first, at least that’s a foot in the door. Better print off the CV’s and start doing the West End walk again.
- Become financially independent again. I’ve been guilty of using the Bank of Dad to stay afloat the last couple of months.
- Bunker down for the Olympics. Originally I’d intended to skip the country for the Olympics, go and find some work in New Zealand to escape the Hellhole that London will become in the coming months. I’ve heard some worrying talk that theatre is likely to decline during the Olympics so I will need to either be secure on a big show by the time it comes round or just skip town! 


WRITING

My new writing journal. Great start eh?
This is the major one for this year. As much as anything I’ve got to get myself into better writing habits.
So here’s the plan:

- Minimum of 15 minutes writing, 5 days a week. This is one of those habits that can be a great starting point. I spend far too much time thinking “I really need to write this, but I don’t have enough time”, so I’ve got to force myself to start using shorter amounts of time constructively.
- Finish everything I start. There’s a stack of short stories that I’ve started writing this year but have not yet finished. This is not good enough and must be remedied!
- Write the 1st draft of The Pirate’s Daughter. This novel will get written! I know I’ve been threatening it for nearly two years now, but this is the year that it will happen!
- Blog more regularly. The first few months of this blog produced a lot of rubbish but I’m now working to change that. Rather than use this blog as a journal, I want to use it to blog about more specific things; reviews of shows and books, dedications to inspirational people, documenting the growth of my orchard, and my new series, Pirate Profiles.
- Migrate to WordPress. I’m not entirely sure why I want to do this, but I do, so will be working on that over the coming months.
- Get paid to write. Or at least look in to possible avenues of getting paid to write. A lot of the US bloggers I follow make it sound relatively easy to find work like copy-writing over there, but I have no idea how to go about finding such work over here.
- Sort out my desk! It’s become a dumping spot again, not ideal when it needs to be a spot of creativity and business!

So there you have it. I think that’s the worst of it.

BRING IT ON 2012!

    What do you want to do with this year?