This is just something a little bit daft that was inspired by a sleep deprived conversation with Milli at the end of Wednesday's 10K Day. Milli did a similar piece a little while back called Inner Kid and Igor Converse About Writing.
I hope this little piece of rubbish makes you smile, it's made me feel better today :-)
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Story: *tap tap tap*
Me: Hello?
Story: Hi, umm, I was just wondering, could I get written sometime soon?
Me: Certainly. Do you have all your material together for me?
Story: Not really, no.
Me: Oh, well then I can’t write you right now I’m afraid. I can make notes of what you’ve got if you like?
Story: Well, see the thing is, I really really want to get written.
Me: I understand that, but when you first arrived I did explain that you’d have to get your material together before I could write you. You’re welcome to stay up there as long as necessary to do that, but you’ve got to do the work, I’m just the typist.
Story: But surely it’s my turn by now, I’ve been up there a while!
Me: You’ve been up there a week…
Story: But it’s getting really crowded.
Me: I’m well aware of that fact, believe me.
Story: But but…but how long do I have to wait then?
Me: As I said, that’s up to you. Pirate’s Daughter has been up there since 2004, it’s only in the last two years that we’ve started making progress together, and we’ve made a lot of progress in that time, but we’re not quite ready for the 1st draft yet and she’s happy with that.
Story: I have to wait two years???
Me: Of course not, you’re a short story, if you get your material together you can be written in a few hours.
Story: But I want to be written now!
Another Story: Umm…excuse me?
Me: Yes?
Another Story: Sorry to interrupt but I think I’m ready to be written.
Story: What??? I was here first!
Me: Actually she’s been here for nearly 3 weeks now. Have you got all your material together?
Another Story: Most of it, there’s two small gaps though…
Me: I’m sure we can work with that. Please make yourself comfortable.
Story: Wait wait wait! What about me?
Me: What about you?
Story: I need to be written!
Me: Get your material together and I’ll sort you out, I’ve told you that.
Story: BUT I WANT TO BE WRITTEN NOW!!!!
Pirate’s Daughter: Everything all right in here hon?
Me: Hi mate, sorry, can it wait a while?
Story: I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN…
Pirate’s Daughter: Sure thing, just had an outline element arrive earlier. Ummm…want some help with her?
Me: Feel free to let a couple of your characters loose on her if you want but I think I can handle it.
Pirate’s Daughter: Ok, but just yell if you want a hand.
Story: I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN I WANT TO BE WRITTEN…
Me: All right that’s enough!
Story: I WAnt…
Me: Thank you. Now then, you’ve got two choices. Either you go back upstairs and wait until you’ve gathered all your material, or you get out and go find another writer. Either way, you’d better stop pounding on the back of my skull! So what are you going to do?
Story: Umm…
